Avoiding Misunderstandings

I was surprised to find a common theme among some of the things I wanted to mention in this blog post. All of these moments involve potential misunderstandings and resolving them peacefully.

A) Neighbours

I live in Toronto. Because of the insane housing market in this city, people can't afford to buy a house for themselves. On my street, there are a lot of properties with rented basements. Often, the tenants aren't there long enough to get to know them well. 

For the past few months, my husband noticed that often he'd find spill marks all over our side of the shared driveway. This was becoming an annoying pattern, so much so that we began to take photos of these "deliberate dumps". Why would someone empty their water bottle or coffee cups on our property when they have their own space? We prepared to write a note to our neighbours to point out the action and ask them to stop.

It just so happened that the renters were hanging out by their doorway when I was about to run an errand. Even though I can actually be shy around strangers, I approached them and banally asked about the poured liquid on the driveway.

Well, it turns out that this wasn't meant to disrespect our property at all. They explained that, in their culture, they offer water to the sun and, because of the way our houses face, there is no sun on their side of the driveway, so they need to pour it where the sun hits, which is our driveway.

I had never heard of this cultural tradition before, so I looked it up. This Medium article explains how this is meant to honour the Hindu sun god. 

I am really glad that I did not enter the conversation "guns blazing". Having a conversation face to face instead of writing a note allowed me to broach the topic with more sensitivity than I was going to do.

B) AI Project

I am getting close to the end of my TDSB writing project. It's been a relatively solitary endeavor, even though we have working groups. I wasn't sure if I was on the right track with some of the lessons and guides I was developing. I didn't see many other samples in our shared folders.  

Three things helped. First, I had the chance to chat with the hard working Salma Nakhuda about a separate topic. She is working on another project for the board and had a question that permitted me to "test out" with her some of the lessons I had drafted. Some of the interactions we had inspired me to take some of the lessons in new directions. Secondly, we had a group meeting scheduled for July 25. Meetings aren't always my favourite way to spend time, but reviewing expectations and clarifying goals was useful. Third, I had the chance to chat with Tracy Jansen-Sequeira, the elementary project lead. I peppered her with questions and she has been active in looking at my documents and providing feedback on what needs altering. Communicating directly with an expert helped to feel as if I'm moving in the right direction.

C) BNL Concert

On Friday, July 25, I attended the Barenaked Ladies concert at Budweiser Stadium downtown. It has been a long time since I've gone to a concert, especially one of this size. My last concert was at Casino Rama for Boy George and Culture Club, which was a much smaller venue. This event was 12 000 attendees. The hometown event was #32 of their 38-leg tour. 

The group has been around for a long time (as you can see by their biography) and the last time I was at a BNL show live was their "Mr. Rockin's All You Can Eat Salad Bar" tour. (I still have the concert program.) The crowd was a huge mix of ages. There were kids. There were teenagers. There were young adults. There were older adults, like me. 

I am unfamiliar with appropriate concert conduct. My daughter, who has attended more concerts in her 25 years than I have in my 53 years, says that there's a disagreement about whether it's okay or not to sing along at concerts. Thankfully, this wasn't an issue, as the acoustics were loud enough so that I didn't really hear anyone else singing. The challenge was around standing during the show. I bought a single seat in the last row, close to, but not on, the aisle. It turns out that I had a couple of empty seats on either side of me. I believe in sitting in my designated seat, so I did. Thing is, when Barenaked Ladies began to play, five people sitting right in front of me stood up to enjoy the show. This wouldn't have been a problem, except that then, I wasn't able to even see the big screens. I don't know the proper protocol about sitting vs standing. To prevent conflict, I just slid over into the empty seat right on the aisle. That way, I had an unobstructed view of the screens. 

By finding my own solution, instead of forcing the other concert goers to abide by my standards, everyone was able to enjoy the show in their own way. There's no need to fight. This message was reinforced for me when Ed Robertson stopped his intro to "Hello City" to tell some people in the front to stop fighting.

The concert was quite enjoyable. I took a couple of photos and a few videos. I am continually amazed by the talent that Ed Robertson, Jim Creeggan, Kevin Hearn, and Tyler Stewart possess. They are proficient musicians on several instruments. Their accordion version of Van Halen's "Jump" was a delightful surprise, as was the medley they played at the end. (Despite being an enjoyer of primarily 1980s and 1990s pop, I have a fondness for Chappell Roan's song, "Pink Pony Club" and they sang a bit of it at the show.) The opening acts (Fastball and Sugar Ray) were also entertaining. 

I enjoyed the concert so much that I may try to purchase some more CDs to supplement the ones I own from earlier in BNL's discography. (Yes, I still own a CD player. I'm that old.)

D) Fixing My Tooth

The day before the concert, I saw my dentist because there was a small problem with a back tooth of mine. I thought that there was something caught in the tooth. It didn't feel right. My wonderful dentist, Dr. Michael Tom, kept looking and asking questions. I found it hard to find the right words to accurately describe what I was feeling and to pinpoint the exact location. Dr. Tom didn't give up and he eventually found a miniscule chip in an odd spot on the tooth. He also noticed some "gum trauma" and surmised that I might have had something stuck there before but that it fell out after doing some damage. I really appreciate my dentist and how he persevered, even when it was not obvious that there was a problem. He believed me when I said something didn't feel right and didn't dismiss my concerns. I am thankful to have such an amazing, attentive dentist. 

The Dog Days of Summer

 I looked up what is meant by the saying "the dog days of summer". Wikipedia says:

The dog days or dog days of summer are the hot, sultry days of summer. They were historically the period following the heliacal rising of the star system Sirius (known colloquially as the "Dog Star"), which Hellenistic astrology connected with heat, drought, sudden thunderstorms, lethargy, fever, mad dogs, and bad luck. They are now taken to be the hottest, most uncomfortable part of summer in the Northern Hemisphere.

This supposedly happens from late July to early September. 

The temptation towards lethargy is understandable. I had three social events this past week and let me tell you, it was very easy to just sit around, lounging, eating, chit-chatting and doing nothing. I can't afford to do that too often, even if it involves seeing wonderful friends. (For instance, here's a few of us at the St. Jacob's Farmers Market.)

It's simple to be a sloth, but if I let my healthy habits slide too much, it'll be too hard to retrieve them. I still have courses to facilitate and lessons to write. Because this involves a lot of sitting in front of the computer, it means it's harder for me to get my 10 000 steps in every day. Making a conscientious effort to include them during the summer often means a 60-90 minute walk. (I had hoped that wandering around St. Jacob's would have helped me reach my count, but in the end, all I accumulated for that day was 7 273 steps!). There are days when I'll get a lot done with my courses and writing projects, and there are days where I'll meet my water, exercise and nutritional benchmarks. Sometimes, they won't be the same days.

Even though dogs will probably not be in my future (see this post from 2024 detailing why I have to be a realist and ditch the idea of getting a dog when I retire), I'll still be faced with some dog days of summer. I need to learn to not feel guilty about taking a day off to relax, but also to rebound and return to productive days after rest days. 

 

Rediscovering the Joy of Creation

This might be a bit rambly, but it can be hard to capture all the thoughts flying through my head.

These are some recent events:

1) I'm working on an AI writing project for my school board.

2) I'm facilitating four AQ courses.

3) I'm scrapbooking the photos I took at school from March - June.

4) I'm paying my daughter for tights she bought on my behalf. (This is a picture of me wearing them, which will end up being the thumbnail photo when I share this blog post online.)

5) I'm having long conversations with my husband as we take walks to maintain our gains from the Lean and Clean challenge.

6) I'm not on as much social media anymore, but on the main platform I frequent, I saw an ad that caught my eye.

This advertisement made me a bit sad. In case you can't read it, it's a picture of a frowning cat, with the captions "Manually creating every piece of content?" and "Oh my sweet, you're better than that." This ad, for Canva, is promoting Canva Pro, which has several AI tools. I had a very "oppositional reading" reaction (to reference Stuart Hall - interesting tangent, by the way ... I couldn't recall Stuart Hall's name. When I Googled "media theorist who coined phrase oppositional reading", the first hit, even before Wikipedia, was my 2023 AML post on Hall's Audience Reception Theory!)

I had a negative reaction to this ad because I felt like it was denigrating the act of building or making something yourself. I know that it's supposed to be about saving time and being efficient, but that wasn't my takeaway. 

My opinion is probably influenced by points #4 and #5. I bought those "rubine" hued pantyhose from a company called We Love Colors. It's an American company. My daughter was buying things from them for her cosplay and offered to include me in on the order. As fantastic as the products are, we would have preferred to have supported a Canadian company. However, we did not see any Canadian options. Manufacturing businesses don't seem to operate as much in Canada. Even my beloved Canadian Fluevogs construct the actual shoes in locations around the world, like Portugal, Mexico, Peru, China and Vietnam. On the weekend, I was chatting with my sister, who lives in Calgary. She complained that when she went shopping to purchase a garden hose, the only choices were to buy ones made in the USA or in China. Combine this with my husband's recent allusions to "John Henry", and I have a longing to celebrate what it means for humans to actually make something, even though it may take longer or be more expensive. 

Cheaper. Faster. Easier. These are the reasons why we don't have as many companies here building things. I understand. This is even why some people turn to using Generative AI. 

However, I feel as if, when we outsource AI to do the fun, creative things, it's a bit backwards.

(There is criticism to this argument related to technical skills vs creative skills. I won't get into it here.)

As a teacher, one of the parts of the job that I enjoy the most involves planning lessons and delivering them to students. (The part I dislike the most is marking, but if you've read this blog before, you already know that.) I appreciate how, as part of my writing contract with my school board, I've been directed to many school board documents and suggestions related to Generative AI / Large Language Models. The organizers must feel that having human writers is worth the money, because otherwise, they could have just as easily used AI to generate the content. Speaking of those guiding documents, a very important paragraph in one of those documents describes some sample appropriate educator uses:

"AI can generate lesson plans, activities, and discussion prompts ... AI can adapt existing content, such as articles or texts, to different reading levels ... AI can help generate creative writing prompts, discussion starters, and even short stories ... It's important to remember that while AI can significantly save time, it is not meant to replace teachers. It can be a powerful assistant, freeing up educators to focus on the more nuanced and human aspects of teaching, such as building relationships with students, fostering critical thinking, and providing individualized support."

Critical thinking gets trickier when more and more content starts to look the same. I'm grateful that CIVIX and AML and CSL are around to offer ways to continue to practice critical thinking. However, I want to draw attention to something Carol Arcus said in my Media Specialist AQ this past spring. I'll have to paraphrase it because I can't find the original source, but she said something about media production is what helps develop critical thinking through and about media. When you are involved in making something yourself, you appreciate it more and see all the decisions that are involved in the creation. 

This is why I still love building my physical scrapbooks. It takes hours for me to choose which photos I want to develop, craft the captions that I want to accompany these images, select the font style, size and color, and then experiment with different paper backgrounds and layouts. It's labour-intensive, but the labour is part of the enjoyment.

It's also honourable, which is why I don't use AI for any part of my TL AQs that I manage. "What's good for the goose is good for the gander" if the AQ candidates can't use it, then neither shall I. Some people may think that the university policies that prohibit any use of AI for course work is draconian and old-fashioned, but I understand how difficult it is to monitor the use, to determine if the AI just helped tweak the phrasing a bit to make it more succinct or if the AI produced the entire document based on a prompt with minimum thought by the person typing the prompt. We plan on incorporating some AI-related tasks into the York TL AQ courses at a later date, but in a way that is informative and still encourages course participants to think for themselves. This personal restriction on AI in my AQs means that it is taking me FOREVER to mark some of the assignments that require individualized feedback. The only crutch I'll use is a document I made myself of my own sentence starters. So, to any people taking any of the courses I'm involved with, I promise that I am not inputting your responses into an AI tool and generate commentary.

AI isn't the best. AI isn't the worst. Our society needs to sort out how to use AI ethically and responsibly in a way that respects the human creative process. Hopefully we figure this out sooner rather than later.

A Lean and Clean Reflection

 A Lean and Clean Reflection

Frequent readers of my blog will know that in mid-May of this year, my husband and I signed up for a six-week Lean and Clean challenge at our gym (https://mondaymollymusings.blogspot.com/2025/05/a-lean-and-clean-refresh.html ). 

The challenge is (almost) over. As part of the “bonus points” we were able to earn, we were invited to write a final reflection. What were the highs, the lows and the take-aways? What were the habits we established? What barriers hampered our success? 

This reflection is for our coach, but also for my blog. 

The Successes

I would not have had as many “wins” if it were not for my husband. It was actually his idea to try the Lean and Clean Challenge. I had vowed I would never get involved in something like this. I didn’t want to compete with others. I’m usually not motivated by things like points. (I know the dangers of relying on extrinsic motivation factors like rewards to change behaviour.) However, once he expressed some interest, I signed us up. We’ve been going to our Cross Fit gym since 2018 and it was time to “shake things up” and give our gym participation a bit of a refresh. 

(This is a photo of James taken around May 24, 2025.)

The pre-challenge physical evaluation and “game plan” at the start really helped to establish measurable, quantifiable parameters. I had kept food diaries in the past, but I had never tracked things like caloric intake along with protein, carbohydrate, fat, sugar and sodium levels. I learned a lot more about food this way, even though James was the one who did most of the meal planning (since he does most of the cooking). For instance, I was delighted with my original idea that I’d get to eat as much bacon as I wanted, because I needed to increase my protein intake. To my disappointment, the sodium levels in bacon made that pipe dream impossible. I tried turkey bacon but it wasn’t the same. James said that when he went grocery shopping, even our kids started to copy his lead and check the nutrition labels on products. I knew about nutrition labels. Heck, I even taught about nutrition labels to my students! However, I didn’t really understand the ins and outs of these labels until we had to make note of the numbers. 

Speaking of numbers, I used to have a Fit Bit but I stopped wearing it after the pandemic. My step count became so low that it felt pointless. Paying attention to my step count again helped me become a better judge of how active I was throughout the day (because I had numbers to actually confirm it!) and it even motivated my students. At one point during Week 5, we were asked to try and spend at least 30 minutes outside in nature. I combined this with my step count and at lunch, I’d walk around our large school yard path. Some students walked with me. Some students wanted to see how many steps I earned after a single lap of the path. They had fun estimating how many steps a lap would take and then eagerly crowded around me to see how many steps I had racked up. They cheered when I increased by 1000 steps after each lap. 

Another success was that going to the gym - and increasing our number of gym visits from three times a week to five times a week - did not seem as big of a deal. There were other things that were much harder than just going to the gym for an hour, especially the ones involving eating. 

(The photos above were taken in early June.)

James saw some pretty impressive physical transformations, even in just six weeks. He moved his belt one notch smaller. He could fit into shirts that were extra-snug before. His face was thinner, his waist narrower, and his abdominal muscles became more defined. I wasn’t seeing the same kind of metamorphosis in myself. However, a colleague at work said to me one day, “I don’t like to make a point of commenting on people’s physical appearances, but you look fitter; I see a difference in you.” She saw something in me that I didn’t. 

My stomach didn’t gurgle as much in the night, probably thanks to the type of things I was eating. My skin wasn’t as dry, because I was drinking a lot of water. There were quite a few positive results.

The Setbacks

It definitely wasn’t all wine and roses. (Actually, there was no wine; alcohol has too many calories.) Let me complain, for a bit, about the water. I was required to drink 3 liters of water a day. This was extremely difficult. I had to spend a lot more time in the bathroom. During the first three or four weeks, I felt like I was sloshing around. I even accidentally hurt my teeth by bulging my cheeks out with water inside (which caused a pressure vacuum). I’d leave my water bottles in random places and I really had to force myself to drink. The amount of water drinking meant that I didn’t want to drink anything else. I would occasionally have a cup of herbal tea in the morning, but I was just turned off consuming more liquid. 

My biggest gripes besides the water were the lack of spontaneity and the impact on social events. I deliberately “broke” or missed my macronutrient goals a few times, because of certain gatherings. I went to brunch with friends. I fed my parents their favourite West Indian curry and roti from Mona’s and ate alongside them. I went to a TL event at a pub. I took James out for Father’s Day to Red Lobster. I dined at a retirement function. Some of these places didn’t even have calorie numbers on their menus. It’s challenging to plan, stick to your plan, and not look like a “party pooper”.

(This is a photo of my brunch with friends.)

I didn’t give in to every social opportunity, but it made for awkward moments. My principal really wanted to treat the staff during the spring concert with a pizza dinner. He offered to buy me a salad so I could participate, but it was easier to stick with my planned meals for the day. Communal eating builds bonds between people. I turned down spending time with friends at a Korean restaurant prior to attending a play because I didn’t want to try to calculate what a meal would involve. I don’t have the skills yet to be able to accurately determine the best meal on the menu to order.

Another challenge: dealing with surprises. One day, a wonderful parent volunteer beckoned me over and said she had made something special for me. It was this absolutely delicious ice cream vanilla layer cake. I couldn’t pass up such a wonderful gift. (It tasted divine!) 

There are lots of snacks offered at school and I couldn’t partake most of the time because it wasn’t part of the plan and I didn’t know enough about adjusting things to accommodate. 

I thought that my LEWIS (Lunch Every Wednesday Is Salad) event at my school would be helpful, but it was more stressful. It’s a salad buffet where participants bring in an assigned item each week. With this amount of variety, I couldn’t properly estimate my salads. I could check the salad dressing labels but I didn’t want to be “that” person to measure everything I put on my plate or bring a food scale to school.

(This was one of the salads I had. Little dressing!)

I will also take this opportunity to curse out burpees. At one point, we had to spend ten minutes on an exercise that we dislike and that could use some improvement. Sadly, there are MANY exercises that fall under those categories for me. With advice from one of the coaches, I chose burpees. I hate burpees. I only did it twice for that bonus week. 

The Second Act

So, what are our take-aways? What will we continue to do even now that Lean & Clean is over? It’s tempting to throw all restrictions aside and eat with abandonment. However, I think there will be some lasting habits we will try to maintain, even when we don’t get points for them. 

1. I will try to drink more water. I won’t drink 3L but I will try to drink at least 2L most days.

2. I will try to continue using my pedometer to monitor my steps.

3. I will try to go four times a week to the gym during the summer. (It’s a halfway mark between our past practice of three days a week and our Lean & Clean drill of five days a week.)

4. I will attempt to maintain the practice of measuring my snacks (e.g. 1 cup of Hickory Sticks, 17 Malteasers) and continue to eat healthy snacks as well (e.g. Babybel cheese, Kashi flax bars).

5. I will possibly continue writing in my Lean & Clean booklet (since I never was able to get the hang of the My Fitness Pal app) until I finish all the pages.

6. I will no longer skip breakfast and lunch. A bowl of cereal or two boiled eggs with an apple is better than starving by 3:00 p.m. and grabbing junk food. 

The Surprises

There were observations I wanted to include that didn’t fit into the pre-determined categories, so I included this section, on surprises. 

There’s a lot of economic privileges involved with taking on a challenge like this. You’d think it’d be cheaper to eat healthy but it’s not. We bought food scales and special water bottles and satchels to carry my phone in to use as a pedometer. We signed up for healthy meal services that cost a lot more money than a typical TV dinner you could buy at the supermarket. 

(This is James posing with my new water bottle.)

Having said that, I was surprised at how tasty some of these meals were. We used the Factor Meals program and those were easy to prepare and yummy to eat. 

(This was part of my first Factor meal I tried.)

Talking about this journey with others has also brought some surprising insights and discoveries. My friend has the gift of accurate meal estimation. At the Lean & Clean Nutrition Seminar and launch, the coaches talked about using the plate method and comparing portions to body part sizes (i.e. the size of your fist, or palm). This was hard for me and I had to rely on weighing or labels or James. I was out twice with this friend, who glanced at what I ordered and told me what she determined was my protein and carb level. I was so impressed! She explained that, as a diabetic, she had a natural feedback method built into her, so she got good at figuring out how much food she needed to stay balanced.

(She said this was 65-70g of carbs & 6 oz of protein.)

I was really surprised (and somewhat sad) to discover that I’ve lost the taste for certain things. I don’t want pop anymore. I’m too full of water to desire anything else to drink. Plus, when I was at Ban Ban Chicken, I ordered a Crush Cream Soda and found it was too sweet. 

I was surprised to see how I began to become aware of how certain foods affected me, and that expensive meals that are protein-heavy, like this delicious meal at Chakko (Korean BBQ - see photos below) “sat well” with me, whereas things that were more fried or processed didn’t.

Finally, I was surprised to discover I liked taking long walks with James that served no other purpose except to be outside and stay active. 

So, big thanks to all the Cross Fit Canuck staff and to all the participants of Lean & Clean (whose names and faces I finally know because of that display I set up at the gym- that was the secret motivation to doing it, to help my poor memory!). This was a very educational journey for me.

This was the “wall” before we added cards!

P.S. I wrote this blog post a while back. I wanted to add that the final results have been reported. I'm delighted to share that my husband "won" as the top male in the Lean & Clean Challenge. As the images below (taken from the Cross Fit Canuck Instagram account) show, James lost 13.8 pounds of fat and reduced his overall body fat by 5.7%. (The top woman in the group, Marsha, is a friend of ours from the gym. She works very hard and I'm so glad she ended up first among the females!)