The school year that was unlike all others ended on Friday, June 26, 2020. Filled with uncertainty and interruptions due to teacher strikes and a global pandemic, there were so many changes and cancellations. I looked back at my June blog posts for the last three years and they were filled with stories of celebrations, graduations and gala events like the annual So You Think You Can Dance assembly at my school. The last week of the 2019-20 school year was packed with Google Meets; I saw 8/12 classes via video conferencing in this week alone. Dropping off yearbooks on porches and in mailboxes on Friday was the closest I could get to our students. Thursday, June 25 was back-to-back virtual meetings (8 in all) and this doesn't include the phone conversations with other educators to coordinate summer projects.
Yes, I'm already thinking about summer. I don't do well with unstructured time so it helps to have plans. These include:
moderating two webinars for TDSB administrators on Navigating Digital Content
supporting the MakerEdTO fifth anniversary event online
attending training on web conferencing software (provided by ETFO for all facilitators)
organizing and facilitating two ETFO Summer Academy sessions (July 21-23 and July 28-30)
attending an ETFO Summer Academy as a participant August 11-13, 2020
writing lessons and units that incorporate critical thinking practices (TC2)
participating in a book club focused on The Skin We're In
preparing for and presenting at the TDSB Beginning Teachers Conference August 18, 2020
preparing for and presenting at the TDSB new Teacher-Librarian professional learning days
This doesn't replace the wonderful time I usually have teaching the York University Teacher Librarian AQ course in the summer, or our regular trip to Baltimore to feast on crabs and visit relatives. Neither of those will occur, and that does make me a bit wistful.
I won't even start to contemplate what the fall might or might not look like. No one knows. It's a big question mark.
So, instead of whimpering, which I'm more inclined to do, I'll savor and enjoy the small pleasures I'm able to participate in at this time. I finally got my hair cut, safely with my favourite stylist.
I rearranged my rooms in Animal Crossing New Horizons and transformed my upstairs gym into my upstairs classroom. (I'm missing technology and the tables should be in pods instead of rows, but considering space restrictions, it's not bad.)
Things could be worse, so I'll replace my whimper with tempered gratitude and optimism.
You don't know Noa Daniel?
You are missing out - let me introduce her.
I have followed Noa (@noabobs) on Twitter for a while, but we finally got to meet each other in the flesh at the 2019 MakerEdTO conference. (That looks like a great place to make connections. In 2016, MakerEdTO was where I met Melanie Mulcaster and Jennifer Brown!)
Noa Daniel is a positive person and curious educator who is always exploring innovative ways for people to connect and learn together. She is an avid podcaster and has not one, but two shows on VoicEd Radio. Back in 2019, Noa invited me to be a guest on the P3. I didn't know what it was about, so I was very non-committal. Noa arranged a podcast for OnEdMentors about teacher-librarians in November 2019 and I was one of the panelists. Noa's enthusiasm led me to sign up to be an OnEdMentor (now called the Mentoree) - that's how influential she can be. Noa also trusted me enough to assume her host duties for the follow-up episode of the teacher-librarian panel in April 2020. It was such an enjoyable experience, rich with fruitful discussion. I learned that when Noa asks someone to be involved in something, the best answer is probably yes.
I devoted some time to start listening to the P3. P3 is the affectionate nickname for the Personal Playlist Podcast. I am the 120th guest for this show. The concept sounds deceptively simple but it really quite hard - guests are asked to select three songs: one that is nostalgic, one that relates to identity, and one that is an inspirational song. Noa talks with the guest in general and then has a conversation around the selected songs.
This idea is brilliant! It stemmed from Noa's work with her students in York Region DSB. She even has a TED-X talk about the topic. So many of the benefits for students are the same for teachers.
Usually this process for the show takes months to book, arrange, record and share. This time, however, there was an unexpected hole in the schedule and my July/August 2020 appointment was moved up to last Tuesday.
I was a bit nervous about being on the show. I talked about the process for making my choices, which involved a lot of "studying" (aka listening to past episodes of P3), chart-making and consulting with my spouse, daughter, son, and sister. There was a lot of second-guessing, because some of my song choices aren't exactly kid-friendly.
Do I post spoilers here? Good question! I'll avoid them for now, while still talking about the process for selecting my songs.
My nostalgia song was pretty easy to choose. The runner up was going to be something from Barenaked Ladies - probably "If I Have $1 000 000". I still have the concert souvenir booklet from their "Mr Rockin's all you can eat Salad Bar" Canadian tour in April 1993 and I still own the "Yellow Tape" - their 4 song mini-cassette I bought while in university.
My identity song was tricky because it has a lot of layers and a less-than-pleasant story that goes along with it. Because of the language it uses - I joked with Noa that there's a list of 5 words you can't say on radio and this song uses 3 - I also hesitated about suggesting it. I also had no clue how to find it; my sister Mary in Calgary gave me the search terms that made it possible to find.
Instead of revealing that complicated identity song, let me talk about the runner-up song here. My husband and children have accused me of having the musical tastes of a pre-teen, and liking this song gives credence to their claim. I actually own a copy of it on my phone. I play it all the time during my Just Dance Club at school (where we use the video game to dance - it's the most popular song for boys and girls and I have the Just Dance moves memorized). Let me tell you what song it is and then explain a bit more about how it connects to my identity (not just as a family member or teacher). It's What Makes You Beautiful by One Direction.
(Side note: my son walked downstairs as I was grooving to it on my headphones - he shook his head dismissively and walked back upstairs.)
How does this sound fit my identity, as a 48 year old married white cis het woman? I don't see myself as the subject of the song but the singer, the one sending the message. There are so many people in my life that do not know they are beautiful (or talented, or special, or irreplaceable). My daughter is one of them. My role, part of my identity, is to be the person who reminds them that they "light up my world like nobody else".
The inspirational song was challenging to pick because there were just so many possibilities.
I've posted the linked videos of some of the songs I considered, so they can get stuck in your head. To be honest, as I listen to them, it reinforces that the one that I finally settled on for the show was the right choice.
I have a feeling that a lot of people are going to be surprised by my choices. These songs might question people's impressions and assumptions about me. It's a process that I recommend many of us undertake, even if we aren't invited to be guests on Noa's show. Take time to reflect and share your nostalgia, identity and inspiration songs with explanations. The process really got me to consider what songs shaped me, the narrative I was willing to share, and how I make (and made) sense of the world.
Big, big thanks to Noa Daniel for seeking me out, offering me this opportunity, and being such an empathetic, awesome person. Now I know why people request to be part of this podcast experience! (She told me that some people have even asked to be on again because their songs have changed. That's not possible but people can always blog about their changes.) Thanks also to the people I mentioned (Melanie Mulcaster, Lisa Noble, Colinda Clyne, Angela Stockman) who made previous P3s that I heard, as well as the people I mentioned and didn't mention that were part of the OnEdMentors shows (the first TL show = Jennifer Casa-Todd, Jen Giffen, Beth Lyons, Kelly Maggirias + the second TL show = Melanie Mulcaster, Kelly Maggirias, Geoff Ruggero, Rabia Khokhar, Jonelle St-Aubyn, Alanna King). Thanks to James, Mary Madeline, Peter and Mary Carol for letting me bounce ideas off them.
One last piece ... during our wide-ranging conversation, I wanted to reassure Noa that the traumatic, path-altering story related to the identity song did not ruin me or permanently destroy dreams. As part of that exchange, I promised to share a photo of me shaving my head in my ABQ course. Lately, a friend of mine has contemplated shaving her head. It won't be quite like this but this is how it can change (and I was a lot less grey in 2008, twelve years ago!)
Listen to the P3 and other great VoicEd shows on their website, https://voiced.ca/, or through Spreaker and other means. Happy listening.
On Sunday, June 14, 2020, my sister and I had a virtual tea party with my mother. Why virtual? My sister lives in Calgary and because my mother is in a high-risk demographic for infection, we are still keeping our distance. The tweet below, by reporter Travis Dhanraj, also reinforces my resolve to continue giving lots of people, including people I care about, lots of space.
Our visit lasted 2.5 hours. We ate cookies (that I dropped off wrapped as a gift outside her door the day before), drank tea, admired some craft projects she's made in the past, and listened as Mom showed us other things that sparked her interest at the time.
This connects to the other "virtual visits" I've had lately with students and teachers via Google Meet. The staff I work with have done incredible things with their students for the past few months of emergency response remote learning. Some decided late last month / early this month to either try out live (synchronous) online gatherings or expand their existing meetings to include other educators in the mix.
I don't have any photos of these student-teacher class meetings, because it was important to respect the privacy of all those participating. Was it the same as meeting face-to-face? Of course not! These virtual visits were opportunities to see each other, separated by screens, but still together. The benefits for everyone involved were social, emotional, mental, and academic. As a specialist teacher, I don't get the same chances to connect like classroom teachers do with their groups, and I was extremely grateful that teachers included me in conversations with their classes. Thank you Sonia Singh, Kerri Commisso, Brenda Kim, Farah Wadia, Renee Keberer, Jenny Chiu, Jen Balido-Cadavez and Diana Lung for allowing me to join class meetings.
Both types of visits (with students and aging parents) have similar secrets of success.
1) Prepare people
(Book a date and time in advance, set up an agenda, and plan topics to talk about. Ms Lung had her students devise questions to ask specific visiting staff members and this helped with the flow of conversation immensely. I adored listening to W and our principal, Mr. Webbe, chat together so naturally and attentively.)
2) Practice presenting
(The first few times using the technology will be bumpy. Try it out. Ms. Chiu and Mrs. Cadavez met beforehand with just a couple of students to review how to mute microphones and end calls.)
3) Don't do it alone
(Even when running online video conferences for adults, I've found it useful to have at least two designated facilitators present. While one leads the discussion, the other can do things like monitor the back channel, trouble shoot any tech difficulties, and notice things that may get missed. I'm super-grateful to Moyah Walker for playing this role the other day during our 2.5 hour LC3 TL network meeting. With entertaining my mother, having both daughters on the call meant that we could take turns going to the bathroom.)
I only have anecdotal evidence (e.g. comments from others saying how valuable these meetings have been). Educators want to know they are making a difference. I think this drawing is proof, at least for one educator, that she isn't forgotten and the effort is worth it.
For the past three weeks (and continuing on this week), I've had the great fortune to be on a committee. This committee has an important job: to examine and revise the guidelines for the Teacher Librarian Additional Qualification Courses for the Ontario College of Teachers.
I've had this privilege before, when we met in January 2013 as a group at OCT headquarters. There are some big differences between then and now.
Back then, it was a single day, face-to-face experience. I looked at the photo I had scrapbooked as a memento of the occasion, and I notice that the group consisted of mostly white women.
Now, we have a much larger team at work and when we are done, we will have had four online meetings plus virtual consultations via shared digital documents. Our group is thankfully much more diverse and I feel pretty confident in saying that there was no tokenism involved - every group member is a significant voice within the Ontario school library community. As for me, I feel like I'm bringing much more to the table than I was before, because not only did I take the Additional Qualifications (way back in 1998, 1999 and 2000), now I also deliver/teach the Teacher Librarian AQ for York University (in a blended model format, in 2018 and 2019 - sadly not for 2020 due to the COVID-19 situation). We have committee members at all stages of their careers but the common factor among them all is a passion for school libraries and learning.
The group includes:
Tina Zita (OCT)
Troy Hill (OCT)
Dahlia Benedikt (OCT)
Shaina Haas (OCT)
Deidre Smith (OCT)
Lily Harfouche (OCT)
Jonelle St-Aubyn (PDSB)
Diana Maliszewski (TDSB)
Shelly Merton (KPRDSB)
Alanna King (UGDSB)
Heather Webb Makin (TDSB)
Rabia Khokhar (TDSB)
Darren Pamayah (YRDSB)
Kelly Maggirias (YRDSB)
Jim Blackwood (PDSB)
Helena Mesich (DPCDSB)
Johanna Lawler (GECDSB)
I was quite impressed with how willing the OCT representatives were to allow us to take the time to really process and discuss some really big questions. Tina did a wonderful job of capturing that intense discussion in a sketchnote. Big thanks to Tina for pivoting to a new tool when the original one we were using to record our thoughts was insufficient for the types of concepts and interconnectedness that was emerging through the conversations.
Note: This image was created by Tina Zita and appears here with her consent.
I hope that the shading and hues adequately reflect how we see equity issues permeating all aspects of the guidelines. I can't speak for the Ontario College of Teachers as a whole, but the representatives that worked alongside us really listened and took our concerns seriously. The committee members are strongly advocating for very specific language and directives related to culturally relevant and responsive pedagogies, and not just because of the recent events and protests.
Note: this image was also created by Tina Zita and appears with her consent
I also want to thank Troy for facilitating the land acknowledgements during each of our meetings. Troy is on secondment to the OCT from his Mohawk reserve. This was the first time I had ever heard a land acknowledgement done in an Indigenous language. It's beautiful and it makes me want to do more in the 2020-21 school year to make the land acknowledgement we do at my school more meaningful and relevant.
I'm really excited about how we are adding to and improving the guidelines for the Teacher Librarian AQ. As Tina described it to us, OCT provides the guidelines, like design notes, and it is the AQ providers that create the courses from those notes, like floor plans based on design notes. As an AQ instructor myself, I look forward to implementing these new guidelines. As a TDSB TL facilitator, I look forward to promoting these guidelines even with teacher-librarians that already have their AQs completed (or partially completed, as there are 3 courses but not everyone takes all 3). Thanks again, OCT, for the opportunity!
(Edited on Thursday, June 11, 2020 to add photos of the team. Please note that all people that appear in the photo have given written consent for their image to appear on my blog and on Twitter. I also have posted two photos because we had some issues when taking the pictures so not everyone present was in a single shot.)
Last week was a very challenging week, both personally and as part of the wider community.
Personally, I struggled with finding purpose and motivation to continue remote learning - with the completion of the yearbook (see last week's post on avatars) and our school's community car parade on Thursday, May 21, it felt like it was "the end". We still have 5 weeks to go! In addition to this, several notifications about Redefined Expectations around Remote Learning had me doubting my contributions and effectiveness.
More importantly, several recent events that really highlighted how prevalent and powerful anti-Black racism is in our society had me discouraged and in despair. In Minnesota on May 25, George Floyd was murdered by police for using a fake $20 bill and his death was filmed by bystanders. In Florida last Wednesday, Tony McDade was shot by police and killed. In Toronto, Regis Korchinski-Paquet fell from her balcony in High Park and sources indicate the police may have been involved.
I want to express my outrage but in a way that does not prioritize my feelings over those more directly impacted. I'll share my retweets, but this was one of my first ones, because it connected me to my book club.
This quote was mentioned by 1 of the incredible people in the How To Be An AntiRacist book club I'm in. https://t.co/dpzG8kC3tt
This Thursday will be the last meeting of our book club group for this particular title. We have been reading How To Be An AntiRacist by Dr. Ibram X. Kendi.
I am so grateful to the group of educators I've had the pleasure of learning alongside.
Alicia Brown @albrown_tdsb
Kelly Funston @kelly_funston
Shalomi Bhoolai @SChinniah_
Janis Castle Jones @jjecx
Ken MacKinnon @leadingthechg
Lanya Lewis @LanyaLewis12
Debanjali Paul @debanjalipaul9
Danielle Noel @DNoel_tdsb
Tracy Halliday @TracyHallidayP
Laura Shevtsov @laura_shevtsov
It's been difficult finding the ability to focus on reading and the subject matter isn't a breezy read, but having our weekly meetings and this great group of reflective professionals provides me with the accountability and support to persevere.
This group consists of educators from different boards and backgrounds. Some are administrators, some work centrally, and some are classroom teachers. All of us volunteered to be part of this group. Dr. Ken MacKinnon started the group with an open invitation. Ken did something similar in 2019 and we read White Fragility, but the difference was that back then we met face to face and never completed the book together. This time, due to the pandemic, we met virtually over Google Meets and Zoom calls. Pairs of us took turns moderating the conversation and creating questions we could discuss. These conditions made it possible for us to continue to participate, with most of us making the majority of the meetings. The conversations have been frank, honest, vulnerable, and thoughtful. Combined with tweets I've read online that have reinforced the message, I have a firmer idea of the steps I need to take to make a difference, instead of just virtue signalling.
I felt compelled to comment on this incident but how? Answer: with this RT and an examination of myself. My dad often says “if you aren’t part of the solution, you’re part of the problem” https://t.co/DMgEBDvtYS
A reminder to educators entering anti-oppression work:
You don’t get to be anti-racist OR anti-colonial OR feminist OR anti-Islamophobic OR anti-homophobic
Anti-oppression work *requires* you to address *all* injustices & systems of power
Anything less is merely pretending
— DrawntoIntellect (@Drawn2Intellect) May 28, 2020
There is justice. There is injustice. There is no neutrality. No sideline. No bleachers. No exits.
We are all in the human rights struggle to save humanity from human tyranny. Black people, especially, are struggling for the right to live, for the right to breathe.
We have to stop pretending that racism doesn’t happen in Canada. We must look in the mirror and confront our own biases instead of pointing fingers at others sanctimoniously https://t.co/F7hjdDkHXQ
Fellow non-Black folks: Every hour you spend on your own reading resources about allyship, practicing those skills, teaching them to your kids/family/friends, donating etc. is an hour Black folks can be resting, mourning, healing without praising you or educating you. /1
How are you processing the injustices of this world? Ladson-Billings shares that we must be critically conscious of our realities but this requires action. How will you respond? I share a list that may support courageous conversations with and for our learners. #reconcilationpic.twitter.com/AKl8m2ORb4
Listening to other book club members talk about how this book study has positively infiltrated their families, I felt inspired to initiate these conversations in my own family. This learning and unlearning must not just stay with me. So, I started a conversation while on our family walk.
Side note: March 27 was the last time I had been out walking with my family in our neighbourhood. I'm anxious about going outside now. For months, I had only ventured out in the car to drive my husband to collect groceries and my outside visits were limited to my back deck. May 30 was my first walk and this talk happened on May 31. I can tell I'm still nervous; I am masked and hooded and I withdraw into myself like a shell but I'm forcing myself to go out so that when restrictions are further loosened, I won't be ill-equipped to resume activities I never used to think twice about.
While walking, I mentioned something I had read, written by Shola M Richards, (thank you Rita Gill for sharing the story, allowing me to find it) about how he is apprehensive about walking around his own neighbourhood without his cute fluffy little dog or his sweet daughters, because he can be seen as a threat due to his race. I brought this up because our family was out on a walk and we stroll without any concern. My spouse questioned the specifics of story by asking how long he had lived in the area and whether his neighbours knew him. I said he had been there for over four years and that it was about racism, not recognition. My youngest commented that he gets suspicious looks when he walks by himself because he is a teenager and people think teens equal trouble. My eldest was silent. I have to confess that their responses disappointed me. I need to do more, discuss this more, and take action in my family and in my school, where I have spheres of influence.
Having said that, I want to add something from a private conversation with a good friend. If you want to engage in anti-racism and anti-oppression work, please do it SENSITIVELY. My friend described a recent experience that left POC in attendance re-traumatized. (Hint: maybe think twice before sharing video footage of violence against black people, even implied or threatened violence like the Amy Cooper incident). School yourself on how to to appropriately facilitate these conversations and free yourself from the notion that there is a "right" way for people to respond - silence may be due to shock or contemplation, not necessarily being complicit in oppression. This kind of work is not easy; it needs to be undertaken but it needs to be undertaken wisely.
