Hit By A Car

I have no clue how to begin today's blog post.

Thanking people for their well wishes and notes of concern?

Alerting readers that today's post will be quite personal?

The audience is wide, with different entry points.

The story itself also has different entry points.

So I'll start at the beginning.

James has always walked our kids to school. Once they were no longer in elementary school, he walked them to the bus stop so they could hop on the TTC to get to high school. My son Peter is in Grade 12. This'll be the last year of this tradition.

While crossing the street, James and Peter were hit by a car. I took a photo of the intersection where it happened a few days later and annotated it so people would understand.

The light was green and the walk signal was on. Two cars made a left hand turn  in front of James and Peter and drove westbound as they were crossing the street. Once James and Peter were about half way through the intersection (having made it across the eastbound Sheppard Avenue lanes), a third car, following the other two, hit them right as they were moving across the westbound Sheppard Avenue lanes. 

Peter was clipped by the side-view mirror on the driver's side. James was hit full on by the car. He was thrown onto the hood of the car. When the car stopped, he rolled off the hood and fell on the street. (James just recalls turning his head and seeing the car coming at him. Peter was the one who filled in these details for me later because he saw his dad get hit.) James had the breath knocked out of him and when he touched his hand to his head, it was covered in blood.

The driver and her husband stopped the car and got out to attend to James. Almost no one was thinking very clearly at this point, except for a man who witnessed the accident and gave James his business card and told James to call him if he needed a bystander that saw everything that happened to give a report. Peter, who had seen James get hit by the car, told his dad that he was okay and got on the bus and went to school. It was only once he was at school that Peter realized that his arm was hurting him. James got into the car with the couple, drove back to our house to let his mother (who was visiting us from Maryland) know that he was going to the hospital and not to worry. Then, the three of them went to the hospital. The couple in the car stayed with James in the hospital while he got checked out. It took about two hours. There were no broken bones. James had a slight cut on his head and was told to be monitored for signs of a concussion. He was given some pills to help with muscle pain and the couple took him home.

James decided not to phone me at work. He said he didn't want me to worry. I phoned home after work to let him know that I was bringing home his birthday surprise and, if possible, to meet me at the front door to receive it. All he said was that he had some news to share but that he'd wait until I got home.

I don't want to sidetrack the story, but I have to take a minute to share the birthday surprise. It was the most magnificent cake. It was created by Kris from Amazing Crazy Sweets (amazingcrazysweetsATgmail.com) after months of deliberation. Kris and Amy, whose children attend the school where I teach, make incredible cakes and cupcakes. I wanted them to make a role-playing game themed cake for James, but I wasn't sure what to do. Kris' fondant creatures are so detailed and adorable that James tends to keep them instead of eating them. A 20-sided dice was too complicated. This is a replica of the version 3.5 player's handbook for Dungeons and Dragons, probably the most famous RPG ever. I was excited to share this surprise with James, so I never suspected that there was anything amiss. (Back to the original story.)

As you can imagine, I was shocked when I first heard around 5:00 pm about what happened. I was also a bit dismayed when I heard that no one had bothered to call the police or ambulance at the time. I contacted my colleague because her fiance is a police officer and we needed advice on the next steps to take. I was also flummoxed that Peter went to school immediately after getting hit by a car. His right arm was sore and he hadn't been seen by a doctor at that point. I took him to the clinic, and then to the after-hours clinic at the hospital, where I read a sign that said "If you have been in a motor vehicle accident, report to the Emergency Department". We spent 2.5 hours at the ER (5:30 - 8:00 pm) and thankfully, x-rays showed that there were no broken bones. I returned home with my son, who was still pretty shaken up by the experience. I ate some dinner and then I drove James to the Toronto East area Collision Centre to make an official report. That night, I set an alarm to wake James up every few hours to ensure he was coherent. As I joked, it's tough when the person who is supposed to be the "attendant" is less clear than the "patient". I don't do well with interrupted sleep.

How do you tell people your loved ones have been hit by a car without freaking them out? It's not like it was a secret, but I didn't want to worry people unnecessarily. Thank goodness for social media. I let my staff know via our What's App channel the night it happened, so they'd understand why I might look like a zombie the next day. I talked about it with James and two days after it happened, I posted a note on Facebook and Twitter. I did not expect the avalanche of responses I received. Peter's friends who follow me on Twitter phoned him to see how he was. Family, friends, colleagues, former colleagues and acquaintances sent messages of condolence, concern, and questions. It was very sweet, but a little overwhelming too. So, apologies if I didn't reply right away to your texts, DMs or tweets.

Hi everyone - I'll write a more detailed account on my blog on Monday that'll answer some of the questions that have arisen. Thanks for the outpouring of love and concern.

— Diana Maliszewski (@MzMollyTL) October 31, 2019

There were questions about the driver, and if there will be any consequences, or charges, etc. James has the driver's phone number and address (but not the licence plate). Thankfully it was not a hit-and-run. The couple live in the neighbourhood. They are genuinely remorseful for what happened, and also a little scared that they could be sued or charged. (They've been to the house a couple of times, bringing fruit trays and flowers - and/but I suspect they also have a lawyer because at one point they asked if James would sign something saying that he was completely fine. Don't worry - he didn't.)

The biggest question people have is: how are you and how are they?

Me? I'm actually doing quite well. People have checked in on me, given me gifts, hugged me. I learned about the event long after it happened. I was a little miffed that I was not informed immediately but it may have helped make it more of a story to me, something not quite real.

James and Peter?

Physically, they are both surprisingly well. They have no bruises or broken bones. James is sore. He is walking with a slight limp and he says his back and legs ache.

Mentally and emotionally, I think the accident has made a bigger impact. They no longer cross on that side of the street. Both of them are a lot more skittish around cars. When I'm driving, they comment on how fast the cars are travelling and jump if a car turns too closely near them. Walking in the parking lot shows that they are timid and not confident; it makes them nervous.

There are a few reasons why they were able to walk away from this experience relatively unscathed. One - because the cars were at a stop light and just making the turn from a standstill, they didn't have the chance to accelerate. James has done research (as he tends to do) and he estimates that the car was probably going about 30 km/hr when it hit him. The faster the car is going, the more likely it is that the pedestrian will be seriously injured or killed. Two - I think that James' good physical health (he does a simpler version of Cross Fit three times a week) helped his body tolerate the impact. Three - I think that some higher power (God? guardian angel?) was looking out for them.

So now what? James had to cancel his planned trip to an awesome gaming convention in Wisconsin (and all that yummy ice cream and cheese) because of the concussion monitoring. He has done a ton of research about car accidents against pedestrians - did you know that in Toronto, 6 people a day are hit by cars? 40 people a year die in Toronto after being struck by cars. James is on a mission to make that particular intersection safer - someone was hit and killed there in 2011 and daily he sees cars making illegal U turns to avoid waiting at the light.

Endings are just as hard to write as beginnings. Often I'll close a blog post with a tie-in to education or I'll illuminate one of the key themes or reiterate the main message. This time I'll end just feeling very grateful that I've got my entire family safe and sound.