Companions in Shipwreck

 Today is my 24th wedding anniversary. On my 20th anniversary, I did a tribute post to my husband, James. I didn't want to repeat the same type of material four years later, but thankfully, James gave me a great lead-in.

My husband likes reading various articles and summarizing them for me. He happened upon an article from Time Magazine called "Stop Looking For Your Soulmate and Try This Instead" by Ada Calhoun from May 17, 2017. In it, Calhoun quotes Tolkien who describes "companions in shipwreck not guiding stars". Calhoun reiterates: Soulmates are made, not born.

When I was much younger, I probably would have objected to this practical analysis. It's much more romantic to say that we were "meant to be" and it was "destiny". However, like being in the teaching profession, no one's "born to be together" (or "born to be a teacher"). Being married, like being a teacher, takes dedication and hard work. Implying otherwise denigrates the effort it takes. It's not magic!

Certain times can be easier or harder, depending on the circumstances. Modifying the role of spouse to the role of parent is one such difficult time, similar to teaching a new grade at a new school. This past pandemic year was challenging in all realms. It is how we handle ourselves and each other in these times of crisis that hone our skills and shape the future. 

We are spending our actual anniversary cleaning my school library and attending a CrossFit class together. Our celebratory dinner was a variety of food from the STC Street Eats Food Truck Market. It's not glamorous, but it's us. Happy anniversary, James - my shipwreck companion!