Our Caretaker Takes Care Of Lots - Thanks Dave!

This past summer, the main custodian at our school died. Cancer was to blame. Mr. Kwong had been at school irregularly last year due to his ill health. Many of our staff members attended his funeral service in August and I even addressed the mourners, describing the pride Kit took in his work, the network of contacts he collected to get things done, and how he eventually forgave me for drawing a Twister board on the carpet with chalk. We had no idea what the new school year would be like and who would replace the old stalwart that many students called "Uncle".

Enter Dave Bartholomew.

Dave is a breath of fresh air and the perfect balm for broken spirits missing Mr. Kwong.
I obtained Dave's permission to write about him and he granted it, although he was understandably curious and suspicious.

I don't think Dave is aware of the positive impact he has already had at our school. Our staff members love having "Mr. Dave" in the building. At our last staff meeting, teachers requested that we keep Mr. Bartholomew all year. It's not going to be possible (for a lot of complicated reasons) so we are going to try our best to enjoy having him for as long as we get him.

So what's the big deal about Dave? Plenty!

Mr. Bartholomew is a "people person". He makes a point of greeting everyone and making conversation. This doesn't take him away from completing his work; on the contrary, the classrooms are super-tidy and well-maintained.

I introduced Dave to Ernie, our school skinny pig. Most caretakers would be less than thrilled to discover that pets are around. Not Mr. Bartholomew. Dave visits Ernie at some point each day to say a few friendly words to him.

It's not just the smiles and kind words that make Dave someone we want around. He is a quick learner and responds rapidly to any requests. Our building is fully air conditioned and has a complex boiler and electrical system. One morning a teacher complained about being cold in her room and by recess the temperature was adjusted. That's not easily accomplished but Dave made it happen. Mr. Bartholomew is alert and aware, watching how things operate and considering how they can run more effectively.

Dave is busy but never too busy to help students. A pair of Grade 1s were keen to use some of my toy walkie-talkies. The batteries were dead. I suggested they go consult "Mr. Dave". Dave carved out time in his schedule to find the right size batteries and the right screwdriver and replace the batteries so the toy would work. The students love communicating to each other with the devices.

Speaking of communicating, two events specific to me occurred this week that cemented my resolve to celebrate our great caretaker. The book fair arrived last week (earlier in the day than expected) and Dave not only moved all the cases into the library, he came in to talk to me about whether or not the place he temporarily stored them was going to be disruptive to my teaching. Together we brainstormed the best location and he insisted on helping me move them over. He didn't have to communicate with me but he did and he took teaching and learning into consideration. Later that week, when Dave heard my scratchy, froggy voice on the PA, he brought me a packet of Fisherman's Friend lozenges. His attention to detail and considerate nature make us thankful he is with us at our work site.

Starting this Monday, September 30, caretakers, secretaries, and educational assistants (members of CUPE) will be operating under work-to-rule conditions. We teachers (members of ETFO) will support them 100% by respecting their boundaries and not undertaking tasks that would usually be under their jurisdiction. Maybe this will be a helpful reminder about all the extra chores they often do without a second thought. It does not lessen our admiration and respect for all of our education support workers - including Dave Bartholomew. Thank you Dave for everything!

Reunited with our Littlest Learners and Miss Kitty

What left me drenched with sweat but sporting a big grin on my face last Thursday morning?

Working with the Early ON group that meets in our school!

It has been a long time since I've had the opportunity to collaborate with these learners and their parents / guardians / caregivers. (I looked it up on my blog, and the last time we were together was back in 2013!) Miss Kitty, the dedicated program coordinator, and I have been keen to resume our partnership but my schedule just didn't permit it at all.

My schedule is still not particularly conducive to collaborative teaching - I only have two periods open out of the forty possible slots - but it just so happened that one of my time blocks aligns at this moment with Miss Kitty's preschool classes. We've met briefly to try and coordinate our purpose and theme. Last week, Miss Kitty was absent and a supply leader was present. However, since time is limited (because the Early ON group works on a Monday to Friday schedule and my teaching time operates on a rotating 5 day schedule), I asked if we could still meet. Ms. Lung, our wonderful kindergarten teacher, explained in Chinese what the plan was to the families in attendance, and off we trooped to the library.

I used my trusty old "Story Bag" to explore and then energetically read the Mo Willems book Pigs Make Me Sneeze and then, unlike past gatherings, I gave them some time to play with the Fisher-Price toys I had out for my regular school-aged students. 

I was a little unsure about how this would go, but it seemed to run smoothly. The adults and little people were most entranced with Ernie the skinny pig. They fed him hay, admired him in his cage, and took many photos. Despite being very young, they were gentle with our pet. Everyone demonstrated curiosity, engagement, and patience as they took turns near his cage and with the toys.

I look forward to spending more time with Kitty (who is a joy to work with) and the members of her Early ON group. 

The Gift of Staying Connected - Thanks Andrew and Diana

This week, I had a pair of visitors. They come by at least once a year. It's time I mentioned on my blog who they are, where they are at, and how honoured I am to still be connected with them.

The photo that will be appear first in this post was taken twelve years ago. Some students from Agnes Macphail Public School and I had the once-in-a-lifetime chance to meet J.K. Rowling, hear her speak, and received autographed copies of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Two of these students were Andrew and Diana.

I've known Diana and Andrew since 2004, when I first came to Agnes Macphail Public School as their teacher-librarian. They've been in many classes I've co-taught with their classroom teachers and we've shared many experiences in extra-curricular clubs. Diana and Andrew graduated from the school in 2010. They visited regularly throughout their high school years and continued to support their alma mater in many ways. For instance, in 2013 they decided to create an incredible "Meet the Teacher / Meet The Creature" display for the hallway in time for Curriculum Night. They drew all the teachers as monsters. I still have my original copy and scanned the illustrations for use in our yearbook for that school year.

Mrs. Maliszewski, the "library dragon"

Speaking of yearbooks, Andrew was instrumental in designing and perfecting many of our elementary school yearbooks, even after leaving Macphail. Both Diana and Andrew graduated from high school in 2014 and went on to post-secondary education in different cities. Andrew helped create the yearbook (using Photoshop templates he designed) even while away at McGill University in Montreal. I'd send him files and my half-baked attempts at page layouts electronically and he'd send them back looking 1000% better thanks to his skills. My fellow teachers used to say, "You're spoiled with all the support Andrew gives you with yearbook. You better not get used to his being around forever." I have moved on to creating the yearbook with Ms. Keberer without his assistance. We now use yearbook companies with paid staff to assist us and pre-made layouts. (They don't look as good as the ones Andrew helped make.)

My interactions with Andrew and Diana are not limited to just completing projects and doing work. One social example - they introduced me to sushi. When they learned that I had never eaten sushi before, they pooled their money and brought me a big platter of different kinds. They took many photos documenting my reactions. I still don't like seaweed but I always get a few California rolls with wasabi at buffets thanks to their influence.

I received a Twitter DM last week from Andrew asking if he and Diana could stop by the school to visit. Naturally, I said yes. He came by at lunch and spent the afternoon doing what he often does when he comes by - being extremely helpful and accomplishing what needs to be done without even having to ask.  He shelved books and added spine labels and tidied up while I taught my classes. Diana arrived after school with a surprise. As part of her last year of studies in Architecture, Diana traveled all over the world. She brought me a dozen of her watercolor sketches from her voyages, that she scanned and printed for me to keep. (These are just two of the incredible illustrations.)

I can't begin to tell you how treasured I feel to still be a part of the lives of these two wonderful young adults. Yes, the gifts they bring are lovely - like the pictures and the extra help in the library - but what I value even more is that they make the effort to come back to visit. That I am worthy of their time and attention is sometimes amazing to me. (Andrew commuted all the way from Barrie via public transit to see us.) We update, we joke, we reminisce, and we get glimpses of each others lives in between visits via social media. Diana is studying for her GREs and contemplating where she will go for her Masters in Architecture degree. Andrew is supporting his parents with their restaurant business and deciding what his next steps will be. I wish both of them health, wealth and happiness as they shape their future. They are both such considerate, talented and intelligent human beings and they will go far with whatever they choose to do. 

Erasing Niceness

How's that for a click-bait-worthy title?

Traditionally, my "first week back at school" blog posts are about topics such as how to properly address students, designing my learning space (including hall displays), and creating caring environments. What on earth would possess me to suggest I should be "erasing niceness" for September 2019?

This is probably doubly confusing because last week's blog post dealt with my worry about being intimidating. In that post, I specifically mentioned my Twitter profile. In that particular social media biography, I refrain from discussing any qualifications, credentials or awards and dedicate a large part of it to a quote that highlights my disdain for Edu-Celebrities.

Write-up says "(she/her) TDSB TL, ICT & PLC fan & user of many short forms!
It's nice to be important but more important to be nice. See mzmollyTLsharespace.pbworks.com"

It just so happened that I finally got around to finishing the book White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo. It was part of a book club I joined but due to hectic schedules around the end of the school year, the group was unable to meet to finish our discussions. The final chapters dealt with strategies for white people to address the wrongs they commit against POCs (people of colour). I don't have my book here at home with me right now as I am writing, so I can't quote the section that prompted this train of thought, but it related to the idea that "safe spaces" or "being nice" meant that challenging conversations around race get swept away or buried. Naming behaviour as racist makes people uncomfortable, and that's "not nice", so in the interest of keeping peace in a group, learning about and dealing with racism loses priority or power. The book goes on at length about how Western society has unfortunately created this idea that only "bad people" are racist and explains why this is not a useful way to think.

So this led me to re-examine my Twitter quote and a few other things related to my teaching. In my AQ course this summer, we co-created group norms and we had a debate about the idea of a "safe space". In the end, we chose to describe it as a "safe/brave space". You can read more about safe spaces and brave spaces here.

Copy of our posted norms from our Summer 2019 Library AQ

Another example: I use an abridged/adapted version of the Tribes TLC agreements for my Early Years learners (and before you ask about the name of this program/process, I am aware of and uncomfortable with the appropriation of a term belonging to many First Nations communities used for it). The shortened and simplified version of these agreements are

• Be Nice
• Listen
• Try Your Best To Do Your Job

Can we challenge discrimination effectively if one of our goals is to be nice? Maybe instead of rephrasing this (because after all, they are 4- and 5-year-olds), I'll focus on "try your best to do your job" and state that part of the goal of school is to help ALL students "do well" and that can't happen if some students are treated unjustly because of some part of their identity. After all, the mission statement of the TDSB is 

"to enable all students to reach high levels of achievement and well-being and to acquire the knowledge, skills, and values they need to become responsible, contributing members of a democratic and sustainable society"

I just need to figure out a different quote that encapsulates my philosophy to use for my email signature file and/or my Twitter bio.

Photo of the book give-away area in the crater

In case you were wondering, my first week back was actually quite ... nice ... or I should say pleasant? The new students at our school seem happy to be in our building, I'm really excited about working with our new principal, and most of the classes (despite the large sizes and variety of emotional and academic needs) feel manageable, at least right now. We began with a book giveaway - only the weeded books that were deselected due to excessive numbers of copies or worn condition, not ones that were removed due to outdated or biased content - and students seemed to like the freebies. I'm teaching STEAM as a prep subject in addition to my regular load of primary SERT, library, and media, and that looks like it will be fun. Here's to a "not-nice" year!

Tracking how many times the marble went L vs R

Intimidating

So much for my assertion that I learned to have "rock skin like The Thing" from last week's blog post. I could have chosen to talk about school set-up (thank you Pat McNaughton for coming in and helping me with weeding - you are the BEST!). I could have chosen to talk about my son's birthday (happy 17th, Mr. Peter - I LOVE you!). Instead, I chose to talk about one minor moment in an absolutely WONDERFUL professional learning opportunity with the TDSB Library Department.

Thanks Peter for allowing me to post this goofy green screen shot!

The TDSB new Teacher-Librarian workshop was held on Tuesday, August 27. It was a responsive, helpful, useful format. Our valiant leader, Andrea Sykes, gave a bit of an overview of the job responsibilities, alleviated some anxiety about circulation, gave some good advice, and then let everyone loose. Nearly a dozen experienced teacher-librarians were in the room; they volunteered to be there to act as a "human library". New teacher-librarians could approach any of the experienced teacher-librarians and talk to them about anything. To help facilitate the conversations, Andrea had wisely made papers with the names, schools, and a few topics of discussion for each veteran teacher-librarian.

Slide visual created by Andrea Sykes - used with permission

Before we spread out for small-group conversations, the experienced teacher-librarians were asked to introduce themselves to the whole group. We did this twice. In the morning, I went first. In the afternoon, there was a request that I not go first "because it's intimidating to go after Diana". It was a friend of mine that said this, and I jokingly scolded her for the comment, but it really stuck in my head. I asked my friends Andrea Sykes, and later that week, my husband, Denise Colby and Joel Krentz ...

Am I intimidating?

Their answers were mostly the same - you don't mean to be, but you can be. Your reputation precedes you.

But I don't want to be intimidating! What can I do to be less intimidating?

What do teacher-librarians do when faced with an inquiry question? They start researching. My people-based research didn't have a lot of answers to this question, so I turned to some online investigation. The definition made me feel marginally better ...

... but not by much. I definitely don't want to be frightening or threatening, but neither do I want to "over-awe" people. I dug a little deeper and found a Life Hacker article that promised to teach me "How to Be Less Intimidating". These were the points the article made.

• don't hide who you really are
• be less verbally aggressive
• go less hard on competition generally
• you're too confusing
• you're really good looking

Sadly, this still didn't help a lot. I still wanted to give this advice a try. I reflected on this points on my own first, and then I consulted someone who can be brutally honest - my husband. He won't pull any punches if I ask his opinion of me; after all, he was the one who told me "just because you buy organizational products does not make you an organized person". (That stung but was totally the truth! Cleaning my office this past week was proof!)

Today I cleaned my school library office. I found a boiled egg and a unused (and $$) gift certificate with no expiry date! I'm sure there's a lesson in that somewhere.

— Diana Maliszewski (@MzMollyTL) August 29, 2019

My Reflections: I don't think I hide who I am. I asked the people at my ETFO Summer Academy session when I was doing a presentation on social media if the tone of my tweets and blog posts matched who I was in real life. The group, including colleagues I've known for a long time, stated that the virtual me and the in-person me align quite well. I realize that all media are construction and media construct reality (the first two key concepts of media literacy) but I try to be as authentic as I can. I write about failing and negative emotions (like this post demonstrates or this more recent one) so it's not all sunshine and daffodils. I try not to say too much in large groups and work hard on ensuring others are heard. I realize that being a teacher can be intimidating to students because of the power the position entails and the no-nonsense aura teachers can radiate, but in many of the situations I've come across where I've been told I was intimidating, it was by fellow educators. The last point just made me laugh, although the advice at the end came the closest to remedying my situation. (The "he" in the quote refers to psychiatrist Grant Brenner, who was consulted as part of the article.)

He doesn’t really have any recommendations for this particular affliction, but being warm and kind can help bridge the gap. And it’s probably best to consider all the other potential reasons people are intimidated by you first.

I think being warm and kind are critical, especially as an educator. There's a reason why my Twitter biography and the signature file on my work email uses the quote "it's nice to be important, but more important to be nice". I make a conscientious effort to be approachable, which is why I don't list my accolades, awards, or achievements in obvious places. (You'd actually have to dig into my little-used wiki to find it all.). So ... what would my husband have to say about this article and the 5 tips?

My Husband's Reflections (his actual words, no paraphrasing): "none of those apply, really".

This image is relabeled for non-commercial reuse.
It comes from buitenzorger on Flickr.
It's titled "Intimidating Bear"

So I continued to research. I found this Psychology Today article (by the same psychiatrist mentioned in the other article). Here he listed his ideas about "4 Reasons People Think You're Intimidating When You're Not"

• a consequence of unconscious bias
• the aftermath of using simplistic defenses
• the result of a history of being repeatedly intimidated
• as a result of unconscious motivations

I don't know what to think of this list, because it suggests that there's something wrong with those who have felt this about me now or in the past. My concern is that being considered intimidating will actually impede or prevent some great potential friendships from blossoming.

My son said one of his friends was intimidated by me. He reassured his friend that his mom was one of the least threatening people he knew. (The animal hoodies I wear help reduce the menacing, unapproachable persona, I hope. No shoulder pads or power suits for me.) When this friend visited our house recently, I made sure not to lurk or be too physically present, to reduce the amount of jokes or sarcasm I used so I would not be misunderstood, and made a point of speaking in a friendly and agreeable way.

Then I found this article and a different perspective on the topic. The author, Rania Naim, really put together all the emotions I have about being intimidating. I have to include the second-last paragraph to her post, "The Truth About Being 'Intimidating' (And Why You Should Embrace It)".

So if people constantly tell you ‘you’re intimidating’ — don’t take it as a bad sign, don’t try to change, because it’s so much better to be around people who find your intimidating qualities appealing and impressive than people who ask you to change because they don’t know how to deal with you or they’re trying to find ways to bring you down

Thank you Rania. Maybe I need to do more research on why people's opinions of me matter so much rather than why I might be intimidating and what to do about it.

ETA: Sunday's gospel reading from Mass may help me understand why being told I'm intimidating rubs me the wrong way: (Luke 14:1, 7-14) "For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted". I would rather humble myself and highlight the wonderful people my path has crossed instead of focusing on me or any part I might have played.