Getting Older

 Today, Monday March 1, 2021, is my 49th birthday. 

I wrote about my birthday on my blog when I turned 47. My 48th birthday was significant in that it was the last time that my family actually ate inside a restaurant (Montana's). COVID has changed the way we celebrate events like birthdays. Drive-by visits with posters in the window (like my friend Wendy arranged for her son) or video testimonials and Zoom calls (like my friend Larissa's husband arranged for her 40th) are becoming more common. COVID alters everything.

Unless some women I know, I actually don't mind getting older. Most of my current objections to getting older indirectly relate to COVID.

• I'm not in as great shape physically as I used to be (but this is more due to the absence of thrice-a-week visits to the gym)
• My hair and skin aren't as supple, soft and smooth (but one good haircut would do wonders since my last haircut was November 10, 2020)
• My memory fails more often than I'd like (but I've been told that people with relatives that have dementia often worry about their own memory loss and moments of forgetfulness are more often due to stress)

There are many things that are beneficial about being this age. I definitely like being an adult more than I enjoyed my childhood because of some of these advantages. Some of these benefits have nothing to do with my age and more to do with decisions I made when I was a younger person. 

ETA - I also realized, in the early hours of my birth day, that my decisions may have an influence on matters, but it is also a feature of my PRIVILEGE. I had economic advantages that helped me out, as well as white, cis-het privilege that I also benefitted from. As you can see, even though I'm 49, I'm still learning - to recognize personal bias and how my closeness to dominant culture gave me a "leg up". 

• I am mostly confident in myself and comfortable with who I am (because when I was younger, I was too preoccupied and concerned with what other people thought of me)
• My career and family are stable (thank goodness) and firmly established
• I know what I want out of life and can take steps to achieve my goals, although I am also simultaneously generally satisfied with what I have and where I'm at - I feel like I have some sense of control (although that gets shaky due to ... you guessed it, COVID)

This year coincides with my 24th year of teaching. Next year will be two significant milestones - my 25th year teaching and my 50th birthday. My student teacher was surprised to realize that I've been teaching for longer than she's been alive. (I'm not like my dear friend Ruth who is #16 on her board's seniority list but I am one of the most "experienced" teachers at my school.) I'm not in any rush to retire. Despite this chaotic year, I still like teaching and learning. There's still so much to try and do that fits into the "pleasurable" (instead of "painful") category. I worry that many talented teachers will leave the profession after this year (or transfer to a different school, or find a different line of work) because of the toil that 2020-2021 has taken on their mental and emotional health. Maybe it's less about age and more about experiences, or the challenges life throws our way.