Expressing Need

 People who need the most love, often ask for it in the most unlovable ways.

- paraphrased quote attributed to Russel Barkley

The timing of this post is quite apropos. Yesterday was Mother's Day. Parenting children, like teaching learners, isn't a matter of following the same script. What works for one might not work for another. I have two children and I used to explain that they each took a different type of parenting energy; one of my children was like driving a SUV (takes a lot of gas to get places) and the other was like driving an electric hybrid. (By the way, you don't have to be a parent to be an educator. I think about my friend Usha, who has been very public about her fertility journey and the assumptions and thoughtless comments that people direct at her.)

This week, I spent a lot of time with a few students. I can't tell you what they did because I need to respect their privacy. Sometimes it's hard to give the level of attention certain individuals demand (or need), especially when there are so many other students in the class, or their needs seem to be so great. Sometimes, you just get tired of dealing with the same behaviors repeatedly, or maintaining your composure when young people are losing theirs. 

I'm writing this as a reminder to myself that when students want to hang out with me, or exclusively talk with me for long periods of time, that it's a sign we have a positive relationship. They might feel like "time/energy vampires" but malice isn't their motivation. Students don't like to "get in trouble" - they just don't yet know how to stay out of trouble. I just need to help them learn how to express their needs in more socially acceptable ways. This isn't meant for me to pretend to be their " white savior" - that is a trope that should be retired permanently. I'm not their parent and I'm not the only person who cares. I just need to do my best to help them be the best they can be. I'll end with yesterday's "Google Doodle" because the visual fits.