Sick

 Don't worry - it's not COVID.

Last Monday evening I had a dentist appointment. In addition to the cavity I'm going to need to fill, I had to wait a while before I could eat to let the fluoride treatment kick in. I became involved with other tasks at home and eventually ate some unrefrigerated pasta carbonara with old apple cider at 9:00 pm for dinner.

Big mistake.

I woke up at 3:00 am feeling awful and vomited. I stumbled back to bed and slept until 6:00 am when I woke again and violently vomited over and over. It wasn't one of those "puke and get it over with" deals - I felt like I was run over by a truck. No school for me that day. 

Are other educators like this? I felt guilty because I actually used this sick day to get better. Part of me foolishly thought I could squeeze in a bit of marking but this just wasn't possible. I was sick. I slept. Then I woke up, feebly drank a bit of water, and slept again. Sleep. Hydrate. Repeat. That was the day.

I dragged myself to the computer to help with AML's presentation for OTF, called "Media Literacy is Serious Fun". I kept my camera off because I just rolled out of bed but I was still somehow able to participate.

I feel so much better now. I haven't gotten my appetite back yet but I was able to get back to school the next day and go to the gym AND host my Forest of Reading Celebratory Lunch AND host a Zoom meeting for my Grade 1-2s to get ready for their cake decorating lesson next week.

Now that was "sick" (and sick in the terms of "crazy cool"). It was so awesome to have a group of students together in the library. We only just ended cohorting outside a couple of weeks ago, so congregating in mixed-class groups is quite the novelty. They ate pizza and partook in a taco bar and watched part of the OLA Forest of Reading Award results online.

Big congratulations to this year's Forest of Reading winners. Although I did not have as many students qualify this year, it's a season for rebuilding, and that works for me. (It's the topic of one of my Treasure Mountain Canada 7 papers.)

I was pretty "lucky" that my illness only lasted a day and did not prevent me from continuing the fun events planned. I guess if I had to be sick, that was the way to do it.

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And this is where the post-within-a-post begins.

A common set of words to pair with Sick is the phrase is "Sick and Tired". This phrase applies to how some individuals or groups act and react without consideration for others

I've "buried" this part of the blog post because I don't want the critics to come out en masse again. The beginning of the week brought some surprises to me via Twitter. I retweeted someone who mentioned recent current events (he originally phrased it Palestine, Buffalo, Peterborough) and iterated the need for education and the ability to discuss these subjects. I quote-tweeted this person to point out that I didn't want to center myself in this discussion but that I thought his point was good, so I instead amplified him. Both he and I were attacked for this post. I was called a coward and that the post was "disgusting modern blood libel". Commenters said I don't stand up for Jewish students. The person I originally quoted apologized to the critics and explained, "I'm so sorry for the miscommunication. I never intended to compare the three cities. I was saying that incidents that occurred in all 3 need to be addressed. I absolutely condemn any form of anti-Semitism, and would confront it the same as any other form of oppression". My reply wasn't as polite; I said, "Genuine question: how so? I thought assaulting pallbearers at a funeral was improper, to say the least."

I really believe at times that you are "damned if you do, damned if you don't". If you are on social media and you don't comment on a recent tragedy or anniversary, then you are wrong because you are silent on an important issue. If you are on social media and you comment on a recent tragedy or anniversary, then you are wrong because you are bandwagonning or putting yourself and your feelings as the focus for the distress another group is experiencing. I wrote an article for AML a while back called Reining in Rapid Righteousness, about the need to slow down before reacting on social media. The points are still true. 

There's this, and there's the frustration of making do with exhausting and nearly-intolerable situations when the system is broken, the supports aren't there, school autonomy is removed while school responsibility is increased, and no one's needs are satisfactorily met. Add that to fielding concerns/complaints about offered bonuses that were missed when the blame for the omission feels misplaced ... that's when you get "sick and tired" of making extra effort. 

I'm not miserable, far from it, but there are moments when you wonder why you bother. Then you get the kindergarten student who says, "I love you Mrs. Mali" that reminds you that it's not for the praise but because it's the right thing to do.